he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
