You're my little dorito
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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