4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
third nipple confirmed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
