I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
