don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
