we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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