After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
