i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
