you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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