Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
