Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
