you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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