he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Even my vagina gasped.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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