well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
