I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
