Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
