There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
