then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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