Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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