My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Randomize
