Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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