You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize