so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
