I have demons in me.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
