they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
