Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
