i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize