Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
