My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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