Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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