She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
