i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
