Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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