we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
