Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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