Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
