I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
