Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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