I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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