Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
