Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
