ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
