where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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