And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
