Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Success! We fucked roommates!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
