Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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