I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize