There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
