he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
