Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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