I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize