And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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