I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
