Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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