After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
