Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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