So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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