Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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